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Last night, I went to the room of everyone's favorite Triangles (aka Niel, Mark, Tony, and Brent's room). I was trying to waste some time doing laundry, as opposed to just staring at the washer and dryer. Tony and I had an interesting conversation (as we always do), while I gave him a massage (poor little tired and worked-out Tony... hehe :D ). He kind of made me realize that I'm about to go through a major change.

A lot of my friends are going on co-op this upcoming semester (plus my roommate)... I'd love to be able to have a car right now so I could go do things on my own instead of waiting for someone to have some free time to take me to the bank or Kroger or whatnot... I heart my tutoring job, but I would also love to be an RA in Phase 2... On a sort of related note, I hope this semester ends on a good note. I wish it would end on a great note... but I won't hold my breath.

Tony also made me realize how much of an individualistic person I am. I made a comment about not being around long enough to get married, but possibly having kids. I don't know very many women who would want to raise a child or two on their own. I can't see the whole getting married thing working out for me. I might adopt some kids though.

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 2:33 PM 0 comments

So retarded me can't subtract. My bank account has been counfusing me for about the past 5 weeks. So I decided to see if I made a math error (which I'm prone to) or just completely forgot to write something down. It turns out that I can't subtract, so I "found" $100... yay! Now I can put money on my meal card. :) Like $50.

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 1:11 AM 0 comments

This weekend has lots of studying ahead... I've got a Spanish make-up test on Monday, and a journal due Tuesday. Speeches for my Communications class start Wednesday (I'm so not going first this time). I need to study a LOT more for calculus, the last test just killed me. I also have to do the obligatory Physics lab this weekend. I also should read up on fencing. That should occupy my weekend fairly well. And, I have a concert on Sunday at a church for Black Diamond. That will be fun because we won't be wearing our robes! YEA! Just all black. Anyway, if I get my studying done and knock out a few calc problems, I might get started on my photo album!

I know you're excited about my first photo gallery. One of the main hang-ups was trying to get the photo album into an interesting style that I liked. I chanced upon a site by a guy named Elijah. I like the way his photo album/gallery is set up, so I asked him if I could possibly use his style. He gave me the thumbs up, so I am mucho excited!

I've been in a really sentimental mood lately, so pardon me if I seem upset or something like that. When I get sentimental, I'm afraid that I'll say something that someone doesn't understand (people can't seem to fathom how much I care for others), or something stupid, or something that needs to be held until I'm in a not-so-sentimental mood. I do wish, however, that people would come by and give me hugs when I was in this mood. I think I'm in this mood because everyone is starting to date other people (it's like spring all over again, yuck). Unfortunately for me, I'm not dating anyone, and no one's making strides to date me although I've told a guy about being interested in him (the feeling wasn't mutual, but we still hang out so it's cool).

Anyway, the room needs cleaning. It is 3/8 clean now, because Allison and I actually started cracking on the mess. I found something out: our spoon to fork to knife ratio is 3:2:15. Seriously. And the bad part is, we only have 4 forks.

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 4:37 AM 0 comments

Yuck, ick, ew, gross. If my weekend is ever like that again then I think I will explode. It was horrible. The only positive part about the weekend was coming back to Louisville and going to see a movie, and getting a phone call from Ed (who I never get to talk to). I got some decent pictures with my new camera, too. This weekend was crappy because I saw sides of people that I considered friends (or at least acquaintances) that I never thought I'd see from them and I never want to see again. If I ever did see that side of said people again, I would keep myself away from them because I don't want to be around people that (a) are jerks or (b) are two-faced.

And I SO hate hotels because I'm usually allergic to their pillows and sheets. I got lucky this time. But I always feel so icky and dirty when I stay in a hotel, no matter how many showers I take or how vigorously I scrub.

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 1:40 AM 0 comments

I'm done. My mind is made up. I'm so tired of being locked out of my bathroom. I want to be an RA. God knows I love Allison, but I'd rather not have a roommate who lives here half the time. I either want a full-time roommate or not have one at all. And, you know, I don't spend enough time with my own thoughts. I'm always trying to please other people and trying to be with other people that could care less if I am there or not. I'm done trying to be there for other people when I don't really have to. I was a much calmer, less volatile person when I kept to myself. I think I liked that part of me better because I only had to worry about what I wanted and how I feel.

So, I'm writing you off world. Keep turning, though: do what you've been doing. Just because I change doesn't mean you should.

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 2:01 AM 0 comments

stream of conciousness

I wonder what my parents are going to say about ye olde tattooe. Among my friends, I figured most wouldn't have a problem with it. It usually spawned talk about how the other person wanted to get a tattoo sometime in the future [I think Mike's sounds the coolest out of the people who definitely know what they want]. The only person I thought would have a problem was Bryce. Well, I told him last night... his first response was, "Can I rub it off?" After I convinced him it was real, he [jokingly] chastised me. I think that's his way of saying, "That's weird... but I still love you."

So I took my first 16MB card's worth of pictures and such (I got 17 and a 5-second movie in). It's quite fun. I'll have to put the pictures up. I thought buying the camera would break me, but after getting paid a little bit I have just under $500 in the bank. I have to put some money on my meal card (that'll be about the amount of my paycheck if I do), so I'll be back to three-or-four hundred something dollars.

You know, fall break is supposed to be a break from school... however, in my case, I'll have to study some because I have a test Thursday and a paper due Friday (and I will be in Kansas during the test and obviously on Friday). But the weekend after we come back, Bryce and I will (hopefully) see Texas Chainsaw Massacre. That will be fun.

Yesterday was an extremely weird day for me. I felt all gross and sick when I woke up so I didn't go to work or my first class. I went to calculus though, and that's only because I thought we were going to get grade checks (and because Justin would have made me go anyway). But I felt so icky that I didn't eat anything until almost 10 o'clock at night--I went to Dairy Queen and had some buffalo chicken wings, fries, and a small "Twix-or-treat" blizzard. I just think it's extremely interesting that I didn't eat anything throughout the entire day. Oh wait, I did have some chili for lunch. So, I take that back. I'm surprised that I ate so little. That's one of my goals for ... for life I guess. If I want to lose weight, I have to eat properly and exercise regularly (I fence twice a week... or if I slack, I fence once a week for twice the time). I'd love to take some more PE classes in the spring, but I have to take my pre Co-op classes. I might be able to fit it into my schedule somehow, but I'm not going to force it. I'd love to take a dance or martial arts class though. I'd love to be able to lose the same amount of weight I did my first semester in college (about 25 lbs--although some people say it looks almost like 40; I attribute the difference to muscle gain. GRR I'm buff :D ).

I dunno, at times I feel super-concerned about my weight. At other times, I'm just like 'whatever'. It's not like I'm one of those roly poly people. I'm just round around the middle. My arms are decent, my legs are great (except when you get closer to the middle of the body). Mom even commented on my chubby tummy when I first lost weight last year. I can't seem to get rid of it, but it's not my primary concern right now. My primary concern is school...

School is going alright I suppose. I should get an A in communications (assuming I can score get a couple more points than I have been on average for the quizzes). I don't really want to get a B in American Government (because I have the easiest teacher), but if I don't start working harder I just might. There's still a chance to get an A though. I have the least motivation for this class because I don't like politics (which is what a lot of this class is about), but I did get the easiest professor so... I'm getting an A in fencing because I show up and I try. :D I hope to get a low A in Calculus, although a high or mid-range B is probably what I'll get. I would be glad for the B though! I probably will get a B in Physics 2 lab. Unless I magically become a Physics genius over the break. If I don't get an A in Spanish, I will have to throw myself off a cliff. And I should get an A in Black Diamond Choir because, like fencing, I show up (practices and performances), and I sing. And I have good choir ettiquite.

I can't wait to be at home. I get to clean my room (haha--fun, right? Kidding). And I get to bring my fall/winter clothes here. I desperately need to get new dress shoes. I think I will sell my cute little girl looking shoes on eBay... I also need some of those cool gel insoles for my shoes. I got some, but they fit funny (they're made for high-heeled shoes, plus I think I got the wrong size)...

And in conclusion, those are my thoughts on this nice October day. Oh wait, I have one more.

I wish boys were all over me like they are my roommate. Okay, maybe not that severe. But her ex-boyfriend is trying to get back together with her (and it's not happening, but he won't admit defeat). She also likes one of her friends who maybe-sort-of likes her but isn't really looking to date right now (but he did kiss her--not like make-out kiss, just a kiss on the lips). That's two more boys that I have interested in me. Rattaphone (who is not my roommate) says that boys like because I'm smart and cute. Right, she's smart and cute too, but I'm more of a cute-friend where as she is a cute-and-smart-girl-that-boys-also-think-is-hot-and-would-probably-date. Maybe I just like the wrong types of guys. You know, those emotionally bruised ones that just need a hug and a glimmer of hope that whatever they went through in the past will NOT happen if they date me. *sigh* Emotionally damaged boys are like birds with broken wings. I want to take care of them, but if I try to touch them they just freak. What they don't realize is if they take a chance on me making the pain go away, I will make them feel better-than-new.

And now, I must go. Have an awesome fall break, everyone. :D I'm bringing the laptop home to show Mom my fun party pictures (which I might post on Tuesday).

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 12:39 PM 0 comments

I'm cool... just kidding
So today I got a digital camera! YAY! I am awesome. Now I will bring it and my laptop with me wherever I go. Okay, maybe not but I will bring my camera with me. :) I also got a wireless card for the laptop so whenever I go into the council office, I can be cool like all the other nerds. :D

So... I get headaches quite frequently. It's sort of weird. I hope my brain doesn't explode from calculus.

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 1:54 AM 0 comments

So, I've noticed that when I look at my hands, there are lots of small cuts all over. Where did they come from...? That's kinda creepy. PS - I hope all of you read "I love you, and I'm sorry". It's right after how I talk about getting killed by (Brian) Tate.

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 1:48 AM 0 comments

...Aaand, Tate just killed me. But this time I at least lasted a day. I swear, I'm staying away from Stephanie Gerber. Every time she's around and assassins is going on, I get killed (or someone I'm with gets killed). She's like some sort of death angel. :)

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 6:37 PM 0 comments

I love you, and I'm sorry

To my dearest friends and loved ones,

You have probably noticed a decrease in the amount of time that we spend together. I want to apologize. It's not your fault that I haven't spent much time with you this semester. This semester I want to get all A's. I know that will be hard to accomplish, so I set the bar at one B and the rest A's. That means I have to study more, which in turn means I have less time to spend with you. That time is further decreased by my job (which I have to say that I honestly enjoy). Even though it's only 10 hours a week, add that to 16 hours of classes a week, studying, sleeping, eating, and taking personal time. It leaves me with not a lot of time per week to hang out with my friends. Weekends are great, but usually I have something that I have to be doing anyway. And most on-or-off campus friends are gone from campus when I'm here, and at-home friends are on their respective campuses or working when I'm home. It's okay. I'm still here, and I'll always be here when you need me. Remember that I will always love you.

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 1:41 PM 0 comments

I wasn't the first person killed in assassins (and I'm still alive)... although Tony lasted 30 times longer than I did (he got killed at about 2.30 AM by Niel--his roommate!... aww).

Last night, DJ had a party for the Triangle pledges. To make a long story short, DJ's little Triangle brother Mat is Allisons band kid. Mat got wasted Allison tucked him into bed aaand... he vomited all over Allison's sheets, her stuff, the wall, the floor... everywhere except the bathroom.

So, new rules for visiting my room: 1.) No grouchy people, unless talking about it will make them not-as-grouchy. 2.) No wasted people in my room. Ever. Unless it's one of the three other people that I live with, and probably still not even then. 3.) Don't come looking for me when you know I'm at work (M: 4-7PM, W: 9-11A & 4-7 P, F: 9-11A) or on Thursday (when I'm in class until about 10). Just call my freakin' cell phone or come back when you know I'm going to be here.

It's just one of those days...
Everyone's at home or otherwise not on campus so I'm bored. Allison's sisters and mom came up here to bring her some winter clothes and help us rearrange the room. It looks very roomy now. Allison and I also adopted Goat and DJ's old dentist's chair (which they acquired from the stuff the people at the dental school were going to throw out). Let me tell you, this chair is awesome. I almost slept in it last night, but I didn't (thanks Mat)... But, I just wish I had someone (in particular, a guy) to come over here so I can fall asleep on him (all of my guy friends are nice and comfy). But alas...

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 7:52 PM 0 comments