biancasimone.com

Yeehaw! Let's go, pony!
I'm ready to leave Alabama. Unfortunately for me, we're not leaving today. We're going to a wedding reception type of thing for my cousin Michelle and her husband Eric (at freaking 4 in the afternoon). Although, Michelle's dad and grandmother (the people who raised her) won't be there. Long story. Anyway, I wanted to dress causually (like, sweatpants and a t-shirt) and Mom and Gram started flipping out so Mom and I went to Goody's and I got a cute, slightly dressy shirt to go with my navy blue pants with the lime green belt. :) You know, Mom's really starting to bother me about losing weight. It's not even a matter of weight loss anymore, it's just getting rid of my chubby tummy. It hurts my feelings that Mom can't see when I'm tired of her going on and on about how I need to lose weight and get rid of my stomach so I can wear cute clothes that don't make me look bigger than I already am. *sigh* Whatever! I just hope I can see my cousin Quincy. He always makes me smile.

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 1:54 PM 0 comments

On the road again
We're finally headed home. Jackie (my aunt) won some money, and so did Charles (her boyfriend). It's only a couple hundred dollars but hey, they came with more than they started with so it's all good for them. Jackie also loaned Gram some money so she gets her winnings plus whatever Gram owes her. :D We also ate at the Grand's awesome seafood buffet. Although there was some discrepancy as to where we were going to eat. I just wish Gram, Jackie, and Charles would have made up their minds before we got back, the line at the Grand is majorly long. That's okay, though, because their awesome seafood is worth it! *sigh* I miss my friends. I miss not being able to talk on my phone since we ususally stay within an area that has no cell phone service (Dad's phone works at Gram's house, but mine and Mom's don't). It makes me sad 'cause I miss my l'ville friends and non-l'ville friends. I'm going to call Bryce, I haven't talked to him in a while and there's service in Biloxi! And I need to find out how much a replacement battery for my camera will be...

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 10:30 PM 0 comments

Setbacks? No problem
So they decided not to go to the Grand, but a casino that is next door called Casino Magic. There's no arcade, so Dad is going to drive us to the Grand anyway and we're going to play in the arcade. YAY! Video game + exercise = DDR!

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 2:43 PM 0 comments

Ain't life Grand?
YAY for us! We finally left for our 3 hour trip to Biloxi, Mississippi so that my parents, grandmother, aunt and her boyfriend (and of course me and my brothers) can go to the casino. Well, my brothers and I are going to the arcade at the Grand Casino: Brian for shooters, Kyle for racing games, and myself for Dance Dance Revolution and Pump It Up (but more for DDR). I just hope that Brian, Kyle and I don't squash ourselves in the back of the Expedition on the way there.

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 11:11 AM 0 comments

Finding a great movie
I've never seen Finding Nemo... until tonight. I absolutely love it. In the tradition of Disney movies, it was a sweet little tearjerker. I'd like to see it again when I get back to campus! Or at least Monster's Inc.

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 11:38 PM 0 comments

Kylan is our new comedian
On the way back from Great Grandma Susie D's, here's a conversation between Kylan, Kiara (siblings, and my cousins), and Brian...
Kylan: I love my sister. I want to marry her!
(Everyone in the car laughs.)
Kiara: Eww! You can't marry your sister!
Kylan: Fine, then I will marry Brian!
(Everyone in the car laughs harder.)

Or my favorite...
Kyle: I have a girlfriend.
Me: Dude, you have like eight girlfriends!
Kyle: Okay, so I have eight... (grin)
Kylan: I have a girlfriend!
Brian: I have a girlfriend!!!
Me: I have a girlfriend. (laugh)

He is a precious little boy, I swear. Kylan and Kiara also had a conversation on the way back which entailed Kiara (who is 7) to teach Kylan (who is 5) how to count. She's got some good techniques too! First she asked him what 2 + 2 is, which he answered cheerfully. Then she asked 2+3. He hesitated and then she said, "It's the same as how old you are." "Five!" he yelled out excitedly. She asked 3 + 3, which he also knew (I suppose kindergarteners know how to multiply only, inertly...) and when she asked 3 + 4 and he paused, she said, "How old am I?" and with utmost confidence, he told all of Southern Alabama, along with the people in the car. My cousins are funny. :)

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 8:47 PM 0 comments

Bubble Bobble
You know what? I love sleeping. I've slept almost all day today. You know what else? Sometimes, being round is okay. I love it when I realize that I should work hard at losing weight RIGHT before or after I've eating a crapload of food. That's alright, though. I've started convincing myself to go to the gym. I'm going to go with Chris (Love) three days a week in the morning. I think I might jog/walk on the treadmills in P2 one day a week. Along with fencing! Go me for visualizing. Finals are also around the corner, so I'll be studying hard too. I've realized that the way to feeling good for me isn't to focus on school and shut out my friends. I can't shut out school and devote all my time to my friends, though (as much as I'd love to :D ). These next few weeks will be interesting, and hopefully one day of the weekend before the calc final (since it's my last one), I'll be able to just hang out with a few good friends. :) Oh yea, hopefully Nathan will take me to his, Shay's, and Jesse's house so I can hang out with them for a day (or two) next Friday or Saturday.

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 7:27 PM 0 comments

Stupid technological advances
My cell phone doesn't work because I have GSM technology... Dad's works, however, because he has old, dinosaur TDMA. Stupid technological advances. If Grandma had a wireless router (ha!) I could get on the internet and check my email. I hate feeling cut off from anyone that's not in this crazy house. I don't mean that in a bad way, but I'm not really a fan of hanging out with people that I don't feel I fit in with. I'm the only person my age, as always. I'm the oldest of the kids by 4 years, and the youngest of the adults by 4. So the adults tell me to watch the kids, and the kids always want to watch cartoons but my cousins can't watch South Park or Family Guy or anything I'd want to watch because they're only 5 and 7.
You know, I love forgetting things. Like underwear. I convinced Mom to take me to Wal*Mart so I could buy some undies, some deodorant, and some face wash stuff. I would have bought them by the end of next week anyway, but while I was at the store already, why not? *sigh* I hope going to Biloxi (the casino) will be fun. I think I can gamble this year... BUT if not the arcade's always fun. YAY!

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 12:17 AM 0 comments

We're heeeere!
Well, we're in Alabama at least. I finally realized where my camera battery is: Sparky's car. Unfortuantely for me, my cell phone doesn't work (no reception) so I can't call him and tell him. Maybe it will work when we get to Grandma's house. I hope I get my homework done while I'm there. I'll probably have to postpone writing my persuasive until I get back on Monday. I have to get my Spanish paper done before we leave Grandma's, though. Eh, that'll just give me more time to work on the photos for the photo archive, I suppose. I hope. :)

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 9:38 PM 0 comments

Steely Dan at Taco Hut
So we stopped at Taco Hut in Tennesee for lunch, and who comes over their crappy radio but... Steely Dan! Yay! Thanks for renewing my hope in stupid fast food music. I still don't know where that battery is.

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 1:09 PM 0 comments

Rollin', Rollin', Rollin'...
After Dad fueled up the truck and we all fueled up our bellies at McDonald's, we're finally on our way out. Only four hours behind schedule this time, haha. Time to go back to sleep, now!

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 8:11 AM 0 comments

Waking up to sounds of beauty
I hate my freaking alarm clock. I really do. I think I'll just turn it off... it's not like anyone's awake anyway... just five more minutes, right? I still can't find my damn camera battery. I hope I find it in my stuff somewhere when we get there.

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 4:25 AM 0 comments

I feel like I'm wasting my time. On just about everything. On most relationships (since they're not moving or even regressing even though I'm trying my hardest). On school. Strike two, world. Just make this weekend go by quickly and then we only have to endure one more month. I don't think I want to go back to school, ever. Just release me into the world with 'some college', and I'll get by and live a mediocre life in a mediocre house with a mediocre husband and a mediocre job. My arms hurt from reaching for the stars for so long, and my face has eternal crevices from the constant river of tears. Just leave me be so that I may wither up and die. After all the hubbub and fuss of my death has passed, I will rise anew. I will be more powerful and vibrant than ever, like the phoenix. So don't turn your back on me, cruel opressors. Keep your eyes on me, those who make my life miserable. The moment you've turned away, the second you blink, I will crush through your barriers and win the prize. And there's nothing you can do to stop me.

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 12:35 AM 0 comments

So I went to see my favoritest person in the world perform on Sunday: Bridget! She rocked in Steel Magnolias as the sassy Clairee. Clairee is like a more cynical version of me and Bridget, haha. I'm so glad that Ed could drive all the way up here to get me, then all the way to Lexington, then back to L'ville, then BACK to Whirlin' Sterlin' to go to work. I had an interesting conversation with him. I miss having interesting conversations with people I care about... I just got off the phone from talking to Bridget for over 2 hours.

You know, I expect a lot of my friends here, but I have to remember that not everyone is Ed or Bridget. It kind of makes me sad and feel out of place here, but at the same time I'm glad my best friends are irreplaceable. :)

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 3:52 AM 0 comments

Nobody's gonna break my stride. Nobody can hold me down, oh no. I've got to keep on movin'

One of my favorite actors, Jonathan Brandis, died last week. :( I loved his movies, an I always dreamed about him being my boyfriend as a l'il girl. Aww.

So, I think someone's upset with me or something and is trying to get me into trouble with people who respect me a lot and/or people that want to karate chop me in the face. All I have to say is this: if you don't like me, tell me so that I can keep being nice to you. :) It is frustrating to know that someone might be being two-faced to me, but I'm not going to let it worry me.

If history repeats itself, can we all see into the future? I've noticed some behavorial and situational similarities this year compared to last year. I'm thinking this time around I'll get into some trouble because someone's out to get me. Maybe I should hang out with Alex more, he's like a safety net... no one can get me into trouble for being Alex's friend. :) I should just hide at the TKE (Tau Kappa Epsilon) house. Wait, that might be bad because of the 'reputation' that TKEs have. ...Oh well! I just hope that this time, if history repeats itself, I won't have the deep, emotional scars.

On a side note, I need more sleep. And I need to study more. I think I really will study during Thanksgiving break. I might even get bored enough to post pictures. :)

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 11:30 AM 0 comments

I have three people that I want to be like in life: 1.) Greg-I want to be able to DDR/Pump the way Greg does. He is freaking awesome; 2.) Missy Elliott-she is smart, witty, and funny. She's a lot like me, except more famous. ;) 3.) Jesus-come on, he was (and still is) the ultimate cool guy and nice guy.

I heart my friends, they are crazy and the rock. Even if I'm having a weird day or slightly not good day, they can make me feel good about being me. :) So, to all my friends everywhere, thank you for being a friend. :D

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 3:55 PM 0 comments

I feel like crying. Not that crying will make me feel better. This has been a supremely depressing year, and it's dragged on for way too long. Maybe 2004 will have something better in store for me. I feel like I'm always losing someone or something. I don't feel motivated to do anything because it seems like the harder I try to make things better, the faster things become worse.

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 1:27 AM 0 comments

So, spending most of your weekend with one person can be entertaining. Also detrimental to doing homework. :D Oh well, now that Mike (Smith) and I are finally detatched for a few hours, I'm going to do some Spanish, maybe finish my Physics pre-lab, and if we got new homework on Friday in Calc (which we probably did, Friday was a hazy day) I'll do a few problems on that too!

Definitely, watched plays with Mike (Smith), Shelly, Chris P, and Mike's friend Alex. It was 100% of fun. The first play was kinda weird, but the second one was very funny. After that, Shelly, Mike, Chris, and I went to McDonalds (because Mike is always hungry). Chris decided to go back to his room, so Shellbell, Mike, and I went over to Todd's to watch movies (and play Taboo--what a fun game)! After Todd finally kicked everyone out (the Stepanies, Steph Gerber, Catie, Jessica, Randy, Stivers, and the three of us--Travis left way before then) around 4 AM, Jessica, Randy, and the three of us decided to go to Denny's (while Randy talked on my phone with Bridget). When we got there it was packed. Randy was tired, and Jessica wanted to go back so she took him home. The three of us decided to go to Steak 'n' Shake. But, we got lost on the way (Shelly just stayed on 65 S ... yay Etown!), so we decided to turn around. Well, Mike, being really hungry, suggested we go to a Waffle House right off the exit. But Shelly was already in the other lane. So, we turned and right in front of us... another Denny's. So we went to this really cool Classic Denny's (everything is 50's style). I finally turned in around 7 AM... I'd been hanging out with Shelly and Mike for 12 hours. Haha. :) On the way back, I was kinda quiet (being pensive usually does that to me), so Mike came over and we talked a little and thankfully I restrained myself from crying.

...Jeez, Mike eats a whole bunch. I think I put a dent in his eating schedule though... ^_^

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 4:42 PM 0 comments

This week has been... weekly. I made it to the weekend without major incidents. I didn't get much studying (or any) done this weekend, although I've done plently of socializing and playing Halo.

I went to Jeremy's last night and played Halo with about 20 other people (not all at the same time, of course). It was quite entertaining. I fell asleep in the middle of a good capture the flag game (I was out of rotation), and when I woke up, Tweek, Max, and James (Darrell's little brother in Triangle) were standing over me. I, being tired and slightly incoherent, decided to strike up a conversation... one of the initial reactions I got was, "Are you drunk?" To which I replied, "No, I haven't had anything to drink! There's no alcohol here anyway!" Good job, Jeremy. I also met Jeremy's adorable dog Keita... he is quite the entertaining dog. I'm sure the high point of Keita's night was peeing on the stairs... LOL. I had fun though. I decided to leave with Logan (and so did Joel) because Steve didn't want to leave at like 12.45 AM, and Jen didn't want to go either (we came with them).

I came back and on the way I called Jessica on Shelly's phone, because she called me first. Jessica, Shelly, Mike Smith, Matt Stivers, and Stephanie Broyles were all watching movie's in someone's room (I think Shelly's...?). Anyway, I came back and went to Tony's room because I heard talking and figured there were people in there (and there were), and then there was a mini-party in Tony and Mark's room (because there's always one about to happen anyway). Then Tony kicked everyone out at around 3.30 AM--not like we weren't leaving anyway. Then Mike came upstairs and he, Allison, and I watched Best in Show. That is the craziest movie in the world, I swear.

Now, I'm getting ready to go watch a play with Mike Smith and Shelly, and who knows who else... I hope it's interesting. :D Mike says it is but I dunno. I hope I get to play Rook with Mike McQuerry, Zach, and Justin later on tonight, but I probably will tomorrow. I hope Zach is good at Rook... :) My last boyfriend was! Uh, not to say that Zach is my boyfriend. I'm just saying I like smart boys. Anyway! I'm going to take some Excedrin because my head feels a little weird. I hope we go out to eat after the play. I know Mike will want to... he eats all the freaking time! Boys are weird.

Until next time, faithful readers. And my mom.

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 6:40 PM 0 comments

You know back in the old days when everyone had to play basketball in gym? I feel like I'm the last kid to get picked... and there's an odd number of kids so I just sit out anyway. I feel like I'm by myself, but I don't really know if it's because I put myself there or if I get pushed there.

Bridget, Wes, Ernesto and I watched Matrix: Revolution. I'd have to say the second time around was better than the first. Plus, Ernesto always says interesting and unrelated things during movies (not rudely and loudly, just random off-handed comments whispered).

So, Ed and I went to visit Paul and Aaron's graves. They are buried in a family plot... on top of a hill. Ed's car couldn't get over the first huge mud hill so we had to hike up the hill. We ended up getting lost (or, Ed ended up getting us lost because I'd never been up there). I did get some good exercise and a nice look at nature, so it wasn't a no-gain trip. I still wish I could have visited them.

I can tell it's going to be a rough week. :( Maybe if I study more and worry about my social life less, I will be okay.

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 1:05 AM 0 comments

I like the cold weather. Somehow, I feel it brings me closer to my bed. When I tuck myself in at night, I clutch my body pillow a little closer. When I sit in front of the fireplace, I fall asleep safely wrapped in my blanket or in my comforter. When I do homework, I lean against my wedge pillows and wrap myself in my comforter like it's a shawl. I heart my bed. :D Maybe I should just date my bed... I can cry on my bed's shoulder any time; my bed is never asleep when I want to talk or in class while I'm not or on the cell phone.

I don't know what my deal is. I'm really, really, really in a bad mood. I know that I'm upset because I get bored easily because I get lonely... but I can only do so much to alter that. I talk to Tony on a regular basis (like twice a week). Although it's bad for my sleeping schedule, he always makes me feel better (along with Brent, Niel, and Mark... it's just that Tony is always there so I always talk to him). I used to have this little group and we would do stuff together a lot and it was quite fun... but now we all see each other too much (like living together, being in the same classes, similar interest groups, etc). That's why I'm trying to get involved in different groups (like joining a sorority, being in commonGround, etc), but none of them are really clicking yet.

In other news, it's about that time to start studying for finals. By the time Thanksgiving break rolls around, I want to have studied for all my finals for at least two hours per class (that's 13 hours, minus a lab and BDC, so 11... 22 hours). I really don't want to do badly this semester. I want my grades to rock. Maybe if I spend my time studying, I'll forget about having fun and friends so I won't have time to be depressed, just to study, work, and sleep. *sigh* Sounds boring, but I have to do what I have to do, right?

In more different news, I'm really motivated to go to Fencing now. I went to watch the Fencing World Cup at the Galt House today and it was really intriguing. I want to be that good. And that fast. Boys lunge funny. :)

Okay, final thought. I need to shower and go to bed. I have to get up early so I can get my hair done. It looks rough...

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 12:40 AM 0 comments

I am sad.

I had a fun weekend last weekend, and I figured that would pour over into the week. NOPE. I think I've argued with Bryce in some form or fashion at least three times a day every day this week. That makes me sad. I wish I could spend time with him this weekend, but he made it kinda obvious that he wouldn't want to spend time with me this weekend anyway.

I also finally figured out the reason why Sarah Mikowski doesn't like me. It's because I told a friend of hers (at the time, not any more) about my views on a certain situation and I guess I said something to her friend that she didn't want me to say. So, they aren't friends anymore and Sarah hates me. I'm not really sorry for telling the truth, because if she wants to perpetuate lies to her friends then I don't want to be her friend.

Speaking of friends I've lost, I'm going to visit Paul this weekend, I hope. I keep saying that I'll go see him, but I have no idea where he's buried so that's kind of a deterrent. Ed knows where it is, though. I hope we get to visit him and Aaron. *sigh* I wish I could see them again. I'm kind of glad I didn't go to his funeral. I still remember the last time I saw him and I don't ever want to forget anything about it: his smile, his shortness, his crazy nose ring, his great hug. I really miss him.

There's also another reason that I'm sad, but I'm not going into it. I probably have sometime within the past few weeks, so why beat a dead horse?

In more cheery news, I'm going home this weekend to get my hair done. It looks pretty rough, I need it. I'm going to talk to Dudley about dyeing it also. I'm also going to talk to my parents about getting a peacoat, or car. I'm opting for the car, obviously. I think I need to buy some new clothes also... and get rid of some old ones. And bring my nice formal dresses home. I need to get a new one when Prom season starts coming around. Or just make my own, that would be interesting. I miss my family! I hope we go out to eat on Friday or Saturday so we can just sit around and make fun of each other. I miss my friends too! I hope I can go see a fun movie with them sometime. I suppose I should tell Wes that I'm coming home so he can conveniently be at home too... not like I'd expect him to come home if I asked him, he's all wrapped up in hot girls that go to his school. And one hot girl that goes to school in Virginia. But I don't want to get started on that.

Also, I saw Matrix Revolutions with Bryce (yes, we argued on the way there and on the way back). I liked the cinematics, but not so much the storyline's progression or outcome. No spoilers, I promise.

Okay, it's time for me to go to bed now. I have to get up around 8 and be at work by 9. Plus, I'm stinky so I have to take a shower. Good night. I have to take my laptop home, so I hope I get some photo archiving stuff done. That stuff is hard to start, but easy to keep rolling.

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 3:39 AM 0 comments

Quote of the weekend
When 100 people with broken hearts get together for 3 days, everyone will cry at least once. (I cried twice and fought tears a few good times.)


This weekend, I went to the praise conference by the Gospel Praise Company. It was quite fun, and intertaining! I think religion might help me get back on track; nothing else worked. This will be a busy week... but really, what week isn't? I'm going home this weekend (YAY!) and my goal is to either get a car or a peacoat. I'm thinking my parents will opt for the peacoat (thanks guys). I need the car; not a lot of my friends have similar interests or times that they need to go to the store, so it's hard to just randomly be like, "hey friend... want to go to Kroger?" It's bad enough when I wait for people to ask me if I'd like to go to the store with them. *sigh*

I really like Black Diamond, but I don't think I'm going to do it next semester. But no promises. I'm going to go to class for the first few practices next semester and see if it will work. Next semester will be interesting, I hope. :)

You know, if you're having troubles with something, it doesn't really do any good to sit around and whine and complain about it. You have to be willing to go out and do something about whatever is wrong... even if it means swallowing your pride to put a bad situation at rest. Random thought.

Another random thought: i heart you. i hope you care about me, too. :)

you're peeking inside the head of biancasimone @ 11:23 AM 0 comments