subconscious (Bianca/Justin) v. conscious (Simone)
I feel that my subconscious--or at least my 'sleeping mind'--is a lot different from me; when I sleep, "I" am a lot more impulsive. It's either being ingnorant of or not caring about the consequences of my actions. Sometimes "I" am like the hottest woman ever [my subconscious has high hopes], sometimes "I" am a total slut, and sometimes "I" am a guy. But I always get my man or woman... depending on my gender and sexual orientation.
Maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me something it knows that I
need to know. Or maybe my subconscious is a safe way to 'sow my wild oats'.
I had this dream last night (hot girl, straight) that "I" made this cute boy [I think I know him, but the brain doesn't want me to know] cheat on his girlfriend! This is highly unlike me. However, it is very like "me". Anyway, "I" was taken by his gorgeous smile [a smile that I recognize...] and just had to jump on him. Not to say that "I" humped him; I just remember some crazy making out.
Speaking of gorgeous boys, there is this totally hot ChemE in my Probability & Statistics class (okay, not mine, but the one I sit in as of now). At first I thought it was a CECS that I kinda recognized (and it could very well be that he's just changed his major). I love going to Prob & Stats. :) Even though the hot boy probably won't ever talk to me or give me the time of day, I like seeing him.
There's also this other hot boy in my Co-op Seminar class (and somehow, I know I'll get into trouble for admitting this) that is absolutely hilarious and gorgeous! I really like him, but aside from every woman on the face of the planet being in love with his tall, sexy, blondeness... one of my other friends thinks he's awesome (and I kinda think that he thinks she's awesome, how precious!) so that is definitely no-no territory.
And then there's Ben. *big, long sigh* He's so adorable. :) I don't really know whether he's a shy guy, or if he's just shy around me, or if he doesn't want to date anyone right now, or if he doesn't want to date
me. Though I'm not daring enough to ask the questions, I am anxious to know the answer!
Guess I'll make out with these boys in my sleep. :D
sure, why not? :)
This seems to be my slogan for life. I'm up for trying
almost anything at least twice! (Really, twice.)
So I called Ben again today and finally got his MSN name. :) YAY! Now instead of talking to him on the phone once a week, I can talk to him online... whenever he's online! I'm so precious.
And, on another random note... don't ya love my new site layout?
There's no time like the present...
...to do something totally unexplained.
I got bored with my page. I loved the dolls (they're totally adorable!), but everything was just getting too old. Stale bread can only be eaten for so long.
I feel like if I don't do something different,
I'm going to go crazy people will think my mental illness is irreversable or incurable. Maybe this is the breath of fresh air I need. Maybe today is the day I take a step forward and no steps back. I really feel like I've plateaued in life. But to plateau implicates an increase in overall well-being, then gradual slowing... I've not hit rock bottom, though. I know that I'm nowhere near that, but sometimes I wonder how much more it would take. When you try to go to sleep without crying, you tend to wonder about a lot of things. And then you just don't sleep. Next comes not caring about anything, except for sleeping whenever the time is wrong.
Maybe I'll devote Sunday to Cowboy Bebop, Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 2--mommy, yes!), and reading a little of the good ole Bible. But first, I have to do some Prob & Stats. Hopefully, I can get that homework done on Saturday (along with whatever Ruthie is planning for herself, Scott, and I to do besides updating our Constitution... yay for being an Executive NAESC officer!) ...
This week has just been crappy. Getting done with my 2-hour Physics test and turning in my Thermo homework are all the motivation I need for the weekend.
Right now, I don't know if I'm yawning because I'm actually tired, it's cold in my room (it's about 64*F--that's about the only way I
can sleep), or because my brain is trying to make me shut up by cutting off my oxygen... stop trying to choke me!!!
PS - I hope that my new template will be enjoyed by all. Just in case anyone missed those old links (like my friends, my homemade profile, my poetry, etc etc), I'll try to get those up sometime next week. But, damn, does it take forever for Blogger to republish my site! That's what I get for having 200 posts. :) I can only
imagine how long it would take for my FIRST blog (close to 450 entries) republished nowadays. :D
PSS - Don't worry... I haven't gotten rid of comments. It's just that, well... sometimes you feel like a nut; sometimes you don't.
Girls are hypochondriacs about getting calls...
Ben should call me...! The thing that I love about him calling me is his voice. He's so precious because he has like the
most southern accent ever. I love it! ;-)
... Not like I can't wait another few weeks to see him. October 14th is fast approaching!!! :)
St. Louis!
The President's retreat totally rocked. It was fun because we hung out with fun people (namely me and Darrell with Ruthie, Mark, Scott, and Ben--the UK people), saw an AWESOME city, and most importantly we actually accomplished stuff for NAESC!
I can't wait for regionals at Mississippi State in a month. I
can wait for the career fair that's the same day as when we're supposed to leave, though. Bah.
PS - If any of you have noticed my MSN screen name... I think Ben is cute. :D
Jesus voted for ...whom?
Amanda D tackles the important topics once again. I think this post is kinda old (I just got my computer back up the other day). She blogs about the age-old question:
WWJHVF?: Who would Jesus have voted for?
And I agree... my messiah don't tote no guns!
And you didn't think guys had it in them...!
This article is precious.
It's a great guide for a husband whose wife tells him he needs to step up and be a better husband. Or a good read for any boyfriend whose girl is drifting away and he wants to win her over (again).
I'm going to go watch The Virgin Suicides now. And try to figure out why my leg is vibrating even though my phone is on my desk...
Never underestimate the power of...
3 guys in Wal-Mart discussing glass cookware. It's great. :)
Last night, Bryce, Mike, Anthony (Mike's roommate) and I went to Tinseltown to see Resident Evil: Apocalypse. What an awesome movie! If you thought the first one was good, this one was awesome! And I* was finally in it this time! Man, I* kick a lot of ass! Oh, and so do I. [ Yes, my complex conjugate and myself both kick ass. :D ] After that, we went to Wal-Mart (because my and Bryce's original plan was to go to Wal-Mart, but upon passing Papa John's stadium he decided he wanted to see RE). Bryce purchased some stylish AND functional Pyrex cookware (because he's somehow become miss Suzy Q homemaker... we'll see how long that lasts) and Bryce, Anthony and I needed groceries. I spent just over $21 (and I felt cool because I got kind of a lot of stuff for not a lot of money... oh, and I'm quite cheap).
Then I came home and did Prob & Stats homework and watched Adult Swim. I love Adult Swim. :) I tried going to sleep after ATHF, but I didn't go to sleep until after the 2nd airing of Family Guy. That's okay, there's plenty of time for sleep today. :D
(* = For those of you who don't know or remember, I took a quiz a while back that said I was Jill Valentine :D )
My two cents.
Today is a day of remembrance. I'd ask that everyone donate their two cents. We're trying to raise awareness about things lost (and gained) on the day that seems so long ago. So, here's mine.
I've always been very low-key on this issue, but today seems like the day to bring it up. Our flag. The flag of The United States of America is a very sacred thing. I've never seen myself as patriotic, but I've always felt respect for my flag. I have 2 flag-like bandanas (and another one hangs in my living room), and a flag-like blanket (which many people have seen... I love that thing to death). But I didn't just start respecting my flag after the 9-11 disaster. And, I think the people that did are a problem. It's people like that who are the reason why Americans aren't as well liked as we perceive ourselves to be. Don't get me wrong, though. A
lot of people put their flags out on the 12th out of respect of those that died, and realized that they should have been there all along. But some people just did it because everyone else was doing it.
The point of my post is this: be genuine. If you fly our flag, please fly it for the right reasons. Don't just try to out do everyone else's patriotic sentiments. Have respect for your country, your flag, and the people that suffered, bled, and died for the freedoms that you have now.
Wandering without a purpose
That's what I feel like I'm doing in school right now. Wandering around with no real purpose.
I have 2 friends that are Pre-med, and they both have purposes for being here. One guy wants to become a doctor so he can go back to his native country and help save lives. The other wants to become a neurological doctor so he can try to learn more about the disease his father has.
It seems like everyone else has reasons for being here at this school, for taking the classes that they are taking, for being the major that they are. Except me. My main purpose is to raise my GPA above a 3.0. It's not easy by any means. And this whole lacking purpose thing is really a demotivator for doing just about everything.
Maybe I just need to find something small to keep me going, something tangible. Not just "oh, my GPA sucks and the company I want to work for won't hire me and I won't get my scholarship back until it gets better". Or maybe I just need to feel happy for one day. That could be all the motivation I need.
healthy? not me!
(random side note before I start... the more I distance myself from the drug subculture, the more I seem to learn about it...)
So! 2 doctor visits later (than the last post), I don't have a sleep disorder but I probably have insomnia, and everything else is in order except I gained WAY too much weight over the summer (30 lbs... can ya tell? :S ) and now I have high blood pressure. But if I lose the weight I gained over the summer (and I need to lose like 2x that anyway), I can get the blood pressure under control. Yay me.
I talked to my mom about it and we agreed that I need to eat more vegetables. I drink lots of water, although I should be drinking more, and I don't eat much salt (I don't even use it as a condiment anymore... PEPPER all the way!) or drink much pop. Now that I've cut out some things, time to add some things... Or not! My mom suggested that I go on a whatever-kinda-healthy-salad-you-want for a month type of diet. She even said I could go to a restaurant and/or fast food place one day a week and order a salad from there to shake things up a bit. *shrug* Heck, I'll try anything twice... provided I'm willing to try it once.
So, after I go back to school on Tuesday and organize the fridge and freezer and see how much stuff I have left to eat that can't last a month (shouldn't be that much) and go to the grocery store, I'll start this diet thing for a month. Along with exercising a LOT more. It's recommended that people exercise 20 minutes 3 days a week, but I'd rather do 15 minutes 4 days a week. Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday sound like good days. Done! And I
don't count DDR as exercise, unless I come home and put it on 'calorie count' mode, and even then I usually play 2 or 3 times a day for 10+ minutes at a time. :) Which reminds me, if my clothes are done being washed and dried, I'm going to change and play some DDR.
In conclusion, if anyone would like to give me any crazy, interesting, or bold salad-making tips or breakfast ideas that DON'T include salad, or even just berate me, drop a comment. And if you berate me, karma will come after you biyatch!
I'm sick
Just like everyone else! This totally sucks.
I don't have class until 2.30 so I don't really know what to do besides update my résumé online... How cool am I? :P
