Sunday, February 19, 2006

Who the hell are you?

I really don't know who I am right now. It's not like an identity crisis thing. It's like a "who the hell am I because I never used to act like this!" situation. It's not a crisis but at the same time it is. I can see myself falling deeper and deeper into this person who is not me but still controlling my life somehow, and not making it any better. I can't expect to get back to who I was before, that's impossible. I just wish I could go back in time and fix things... so many things. Not everything, because I made some mistakes to get how I am, and some mistakes were actually the best things that could ever happen. It just hurts me that I'm not the same as five years ago... or two years ago... or even two months ago. If I could go back to who I was two years ago, that would be perfect. I felt great about myself and great about my life.

I'm just going to have to suck it up and do something about it.