daggers in my heart
I've always wondered to myself,
how can I survive in this world in which I live?
I don't use any of the dastardly, underhanded tactics to get what I want.
I try to play the fair game.
But, of course I always get hurt,
and the pain is as immobile as a dagger in my heart.
My eyes swell with tears when I think
of all the things that are wrong.
I sit and think, and sip my tea,
and pray for those who have been tresspassed against.
I already know that times are tough,
and I can only do so much,
but I am almost paralyzed.
It seems the harder I try, the worse it gets.
So, maybe it's just not my fight anymore.
I've done what I could, I've tried every option,
but now it's just out of my hands.
I can't push where there is no space,
I can't use something when there is nothing.
All I can do is sit back and help when I can...
but I'm stuck inside my mind.
I have to take a minute, or two, or three,
and take a break from this depression.
I allow myself to cry a little for love,
love lost, lives scarred, faces beaten or battered or bruised.
But I have to jump back,
because if I miss a beat, evil has won.
I don't know what's worse;
trying to block out my own small problems,
which can only grow and cause more pain...
or trying to block out the world,
"after all, what is one in six billion?"... "who cares 'bout THEM?"
The internal sturggles are even fighting with the external struggles, now.
If you want to help me, don't worry about me.
Join my side, help me do what I do...
Do what you can to help, and if you can't do anymore,
pray, pray, pray, pray,
until your shell is in the cold, hard ground
and your mind is exalted to a better place.
