Last night, I thought about you.
About how I miss lying in bed with you,
my arm around you, our fingers intertwined
my breasts against your back,
my cold legs wrapped around your warm ones,
my breath between your shoulder blades.
Or, sometimes,
your arm around chest,
your hand on top of mine,
your lips on my shoulder,
your breath tickling my ear.
I'm homesick.
Why is the one I keep thinking of
not the one I want to be thinking of?
Why does everything I see not remind me of
the one I love thinking of,
but the one who drives a knife deeper into my heart every day?
I need to tell you some things...
I want to tell you everything.
But I'm so afraid that telling you
all there is to me,
the good and the bad,
will hurt you, or scare you, or anger you,
and I'll lose you forever.
So, should I keep it all inside, and not worry about my feelings,
or risk it all just for the sake of there being 'no secrets'?
i can't live a month without seeing your face
i can't live a week without feeling your hand in mine
i can't live a day without hearing your voice
i can't live an hour without seeing your smile
i can't live a minute without looking into your eyes
i can't live a second without you
but i could live forever in your arms
I used to think I hate her because
of all the bad things she did to you.
I used to think I hate her because
she hurts you, on purpose.
I used to think I hate her because
of the way she talks down to you.
I used to think I hate her because
she manipulates you, and manipulated me.
I know why I hate her very existence
with every fiber of my body,
with every breath,
with every thought.
As evil and horrible as she is to you,
you are still in love with her,
and I am jealous.
Nothing I can do will ever change that.
i hear the soft pitpat of raindrops falling.
i smile and glance at you, and then at the door.
"come outside with me," i say.
you shake your head, "it's raining!"
i take your hand and try to pull you toward the open door,
trying to convince you to play in the rain with me.
your eyes begin to sparkle, and a smile slowly forms on your lips.
"let's go, then" you say, half-laughing.
i giggle and bound outside, dragging you behind me like an rag doll at the playground.
we start to hop around in puddles in our sock feet, pants pegged,
laughing, running, eyes dancing, raindrops falling.
you turn toward me, and i pull you close.
"don't you think it's time to go back inside now?" you ask me, with your hands on my hips.
i put my arms around your neck, and say, "not before you kiss me."
we share a kiss in the rain, and then i hear the thunder.
i grin. "just in time."
you laugh. "i didn't know electricity could travel so fast!"
we stand on the porch, dripping wet, soaked to the bone.
you put your arm around me, and i put my head on your chest.
you kiss me on my forehead, and i listen to your heart pounding.
i love a good rainstorm.
they sit on the swings
next to each other, giggling
silly faces and smiles exchange
as they seem to float past each other
they finally slow down
then come to a stop
they walk to a picnic table
to munch on sandwiches & veggies
they talk about everything.
relationships, foreign policy, religion
they talk about nothing.
work gossip, baby mamma drama, celebs
they don't talk; awkward silence fills the air.
shyly, blushing, making eye contact with dirt
they talk about something, anything.
friends, neighbors, dream vacations
Then, he leans over the table to kiss his friend
who is also a boy.
I smile as I walk past two boys kissing.
"Do unto others as you
would have them do
unto you."
Even if it means helping
someone who won't give you
the time of day.
It took you 5 minutes to do
what they couldn't in 25 minutes
and what they wouldn't have done
in 5 hours.
I don't know whether to feel
glad that I helped someone in need
or upset that I helped someone
who didn't even thank me.
I'll be content that they spent
their almost-wasted time, instead,
doing something useful.
minutes seem like hours, waiting
but hours seem like seconds, talking
just yesterday, I was crying to him
about how you confuse me
and last night, he and I talked
for hours
about nothing
and I had fun
and today, I'm confused again
Out of all the things I've
ever learned to do,
I never thought I'd
be comfortable with
telling lies.
Maybe I'm not really telling
lies at all.
Maybe I'm too naïve
to accept the truth.
Out of all the things I've
ever learned to do,
I never thought I'd
be comfortable with
rejecting the obvious truth.
He's an on time God,
Yes, He is.
He's an on time God,
Yes, He is!
He may not come when you want Him,
but He'll be there right on time.
He's an on time God,
Yes, He is.
This is a very old spiritual, I think... it's very inspiring and very true! :D
Here are the words I write on a page
to start a new age;
a time of change
is in the air.
No one remembers how it started
except for me.
I was finally discontented
with mediocrity and bashing myself.
So, I stopped.
The time is now to be who I am
to become all that I can,
striving to be a better me.
And so, I sit here,
the most comfortable I've
been with myself in almost
three years.
I am proud to be me.
i guess you're talking to me again
which is fine
because i thought you died.
you just decided to ignore everyone
just like when she died.
go ahead, push me away.
it's okay. i still love you.
though it's quite apparent that you don't love me anymore
it should have been apparent to me that you aren't the same anymore
but i was fooled by seven-year-old infatuation
go ahead, make out with your girlfriend in front of me.
it's okay.
i can go home and cry in my own bed.
thanks for showing me that i didn't need to care in the first place.
i'm going to stick to my guns. so fuck you.
i need you,
you're the first person that's made me feel alive in a long time
and now that you're not here, i'd rather be dead than without you.
what did you do to me?
nothing, really, except let me fall in love with you
all over again.
i really don't know if you fell in love with me
or if you ever were.
i can only wish.
i'm tired of being an empty shell...
please come back to me.
I type what I feel at any given time. And when it gets real poetic, here's where I go.
Once upon a time, a girl fell in love with a boy. The boy also fell in love with the girl. Later, they decided that they loved each other so much that they wanted to show the world how much they loved each other, so they got married. Then, then decided that they showed the world how much they loved each other, and they wanted to teach someone how to love the world as such, and they had a beautiful baby girl. Twenty-four years later, they still get headaches from me. :)
